At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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