You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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