i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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