I will die if light touches me.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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