five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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