You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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