Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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