I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
