I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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