I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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