Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
