dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
