I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
