Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
