My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
