you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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