For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
