You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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