where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
