now i know why i became what i already was.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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