New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
