Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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