The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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