is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
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