My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
