I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
