she was so not down for the gang bang
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
