i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
