she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
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