But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
