idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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