a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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