just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
