Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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