you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
