It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
