This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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