i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
