Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
