last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
