Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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