My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Come on in and take your pants off
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