Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a burrito and a hug.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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