If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize