the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
