his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
