Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
