You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
