just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
