Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
