why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
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Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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