So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
