I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
