come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
And then he peed in my hair
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
