well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
operation harelip BJ is a go
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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