Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
