we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
