I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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