They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize