butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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