yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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