I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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