We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
