According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize