I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
