Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
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We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
