Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
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Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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