Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
